Wednesday 26 July 2017

Heartache and laughter?

When I left university, the industry I'd trained for had stopped employing people, so I had to just get any old job that would have me. I was disappointed, I felt useless. I hadn't done as well as I'd expected, I knew I was capable of more. I felt I'd let my parents down as they'd helped fund me through uni with limited funds themselves. I felt I'd let down myself and my family. To add to that I couldn't get a job, so I ended up applying for anything. It took a while, but I ended up working in a shop.

I had to walk to and from work everyday. I spent most of that time crying. 
I felt like a failure and didn't want to be around any more. I was lonely and unfulfilled. My life hadn't worked out how I'd wanted in more ways than one.

Yet, no one else knew the inner pain I was in. People saw me as a happy, bubbly person. I became good at, 'putting a good face on' - pretending I was happy when my heart was troubled. I'd laugh and joke at work, church, out with friends, even with family. I pretended to have fun and be happy because I didn't want to upset or worry anyone. In reality I was laughing on the outside, crying on the inside. 

It was a really hard period of life, and went on for a long time. I knew the distraught feeling of failure deep inside, yet people saw me as a happy person and I couldn't let them down. It was like I was two people - The sad internal reality and the upbeat, happy outer person. 

Even in laughter the heart may ache, 
and the end of joy may be grief. 
Proverbs 14:13

A laugh or happy time lasts for a moment, the despair and grief that takes hold of the heart outlives them both. It's hard work keeping up the pretence of being happy. I knew that no-one knew the inner anguish I felt because of what I outwardly portrayed. 

If you are going through a period of inner anguish, please don't be like me. 

Please don't suffer alone. 

It is a part of life that grief, heart-ache, laughter and joy will come. You don't have to go through it alone. Despite what internally you are saying to yourself, people do care, there are those that love you. 
There is also someone who is bigger and stronger than your circumstances that loves you - God. The God who created you, created you for purpose. He loves you. He is with you, He will never let you down. 
He dragged me through that time. He didn't answer my prayers to die, but over time he showed me what it is like to live. Now, when I laugh, it's not a cover up. It's not a pretence, it's the real deal. There are still times when I feel down, but I don't try to cover it up. I am who I am. Life happens, there are good bits and not good bits, but we can get through it well. We don't need to put a mask and pretend we are ok when we are not. Ask God to help you. 

I had no idea that God even heard me when I was feeling desperate, but I asked him to help. Now my life is different, yours can be to. You could even turn this verse around to say, 'even in heartache there is laughter, at the end of grief there is joy'. 

Tuesday 18 July 2017

Where does your help come from?

Where do you look for help?

Psalm 121 says; 
'I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?' (V1)

Hills? How how can the hills help you?
In your troubles, what good will looking at hills do? They are big and awesome but they are not going to be able to change your circumstances. They are silent and unmoving - what help are they going to be? So, what CAN help?
 The next verse tells us the best place to seek help - 'My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.'

Looking elsewhere for assistance is as useless as looking at the hills and expecting an answer. What kind of answer do you expect to get from other sources? If your natural impulse is to have a few drinks, go shopping, clean, or a whole host of other options - do those things make your situation better? They may distract or numb our feelings for a bit, but they do t give us the answers we seek. They are as useful as the hills in our hours of need.

'my help comes from the maker of heavens and Earth.'
Personally, I don't look at the hills, or other things whether nature or man made. My help comes from the one who made all that stuff. He has made the hills, and everything else you see around you. He's kept this Earth in motion and sustained it for thousands of years. So, He seems to know what he's doing. 
So, when trouble comes and I need help in my little life in comparison even to one hill or one of those years, I know where my help is. I know the one who has strength and power to help me. 

Now, my testimony is not that He always takes away the trouble, but he ALWAYS helps me through it. 

I have not had a perfect life, nor an easy one in some ways, but I'm still standing! 
I have seen; death, experienced grief and rejection, financial difficulty, known disappointment and illness. Most of you reading this have probably experienced those things too. 

I can tell you that when I call out to God when I'm in trouble (and I do t always - I'm not perfect!) God has often given peace to me when I should of felt stressed and overwhelmed. 
He has helped me keep a straight head when all around seems to be chaos. I am not perfect though, so when trouble comes I haven't always called out to God, and those times have been harder because I rely on myself. The reality is, you and I are not big enough or strong enough to handle some of the troubles of life, and we are not meant to. 
There is one who is though, the 'maker of heaven and earth' who is big enough and strong enough to carry you through any situation. 
He made the whole world that we live in, He can definitely help you in your troubles. 


If you've found your current ways of dealing with trouble don't help, why not try a new way and ask God, the maker of heaven and Earth? 

Wednesday 12 July 2017

Joy

John 15:10
If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. 

There are some great promises here. Great promises of joy and love. 
We can have complete, unending joy - great pleasure and happiness. 

So, where is it???

I would think most of the time, we don't feel the great pleasure that is joy. We may feel contentment, but joy?

Jesus insists that his own obedience to the Father, the fact that he has kept the commandments, is the grounding for his joy. 
He has done what his father God has told him to, and so stayed in his love. He has acknowledged and displayed God's love in and through his obedience. 

This is what leads to joy. 

Through obeying what we are told to do, we are showing respect, trust and love in the person we are obedient to. Just think about it from a parents point of view. They ask you to do something, if you do it they are proud of you and they see your love in action. This then leads to them being happy and showing their happiness to you, you then feel happy and more loved. It's like a cycle - Put obedience in, give others joy, you then feel joy and want to be more obedient.

When we feel loved, we feel joy. 
We can feel loved when we are obedient to God, our everlasting parent, then we can know what joy is. One of the wonderful things I noticed about these verse is not only do we get to be joyful, but Jesus also finds joy in us! How amazing is that?! 

Jesus can find joy in you when you show your love for God by doing what he asks! Wow! 


Spread the joy! 

Wednesday 5 July 2017

Love and Hatred

Hatred stirs up strife, 
but love covers all offences
Proverbs 10:12

This verse is about love and hatred -  two intense emotions, opposite in their nature and effects. Lets have a look at them. 

Hatred. 
Now, I don't think anyone really sets out to hate anyone or anything. It's usually that an offence has been made, there may of been a conflict and it has been unsatisfactorily resolved. This then can cause mistrust, resentment, annoyance- hatred. People don't usually intend to hate things, it's not the goal, it is an unfortunate conclusion.
I think we can all see that hatred is not a positive, fulfilling emotion. It is not something that makes us feel good. In fact when our attention is upon the person or thing that causes hatred, an immense anger can swell up within us. We can be consumed by thoughts of vengeance, or as my kids like to call it 'payback'. We stir ourselves up, get wound up, and though these thoughts may never be put into action, our hearts, bodies and minds go into overdrive. We are ready to cause some 'strife'! 
In fact, we've already caused strife because of the way we respond. It causes strife within us let alone around us. We feel uneasy, unhappy, angry and hurt when we consider the object of hatred. That's not a way most of us want to be going about our daily lives.

So, what about love?

Love is often associated with feelings - deep affection, a preference of one person or thing to another. When we love someone/thing we put ourselves ou and we overlook offences. We give people a chance and try to think the best of them. We allow people to get things wrong, guide them and help them in what we believe is a better way. 
We have to accept at times that we will disagree, but even if there's conflict, we make an effort to restore relationship. We don't continually bring a list of another's faults to attention every time we think of them, we 'cover' their offences. This means we forgive and move on. 

So, looking at it objectively, love is always the better way. The results are clearly different. 

Can we exchange one feeling for another? 

I look at what the outcome of love is, and see that we demonstrate love (or hate) in the choices we make. Do we try to make up when we've fallen out with someone? Do we forgive? Do we make an effort to straighten things out so that we can continue to disagree but not let it effect our ongoing relationships? Do we continue to focus on the negative?

The definition of love is a strong affection, but I would argue that it is much more than that. Love is proved in action. It takes time and needs to be demonstrated. If you love someone they would know by what you do. 

So,  if you're struggling with hatred today, it would probably be far too difficult to jump into love. What you can do is be mindful of what you do and say. Love and hatred require action. If you want to get rid of the anger, bitterness and resentment then you can choose today what you are going to do about it. It won't be easy, but it is a choice only you can make. 

Live in love or remain on hatred?